Dark Night of the Soul
Monday March 18, 2024
It’s the middle of the night, 4:30am. Another sleepless night. This time I’m not forcing my body to sleep. I know sleep is important however right now I am going through something akin to “the dark night of the soul”.
I’m in my new place in Massachusetts, with people who are “awake”. Finally I’m with my kin. It is so different to be able to talk to people straight, without ducking and weaving the myriad of subject matter than raises people’s ire. I try to steer clear of those subjects with “normies” but you can’t because it covers everything. I know they wouldn’t like being called normies but guess what? We don’t like having to carry your burden while you turn your head away. So if the hat fits...you know what you can do with it.
Right now I am living with VR and his lovely wife and daughter. There is another man here who is in foreclosure. VR and his wife do a lot for people. Sure, VR wants to make a business out of it but his heart is big and his intelligence is high. I am honored to work with him. I wish I felt better but like I said this is my “dark night of the soul”. I don’t know how long it will last for.
I had a dream tonight during the short time I did get some sleep. I was upstairs and in conflict with a man – I think it was that man that came to live with us in Barton. He was like a demon and he was downstairs. He didn’t say anything but I felt in that ambiance of being hated and scorned. Then from the white stairs too, came a prancing, confident young man, maybe in his 20’s who looked much like the demon and had many airs which I entertained – I don’t mind a bit of sparing. He was trying to insult me and was having no luck. I forgot what it was he was saying, which I easily countered. Then he got dirtier and called me an old woman. Ok that did hit the cord. But I felt an energy shift. I felt him turning from playfulness into demonic spirits and as this transition took place, a woman arose with him and they were sneering at me just like you would see gargoyles doing. I felt my right arm go into the top I was wearing and grasp my left breast. It was like they had control of my body. But I fought back and said, “oh no, no, no, no”. There was a bit of a “spiritual” or consciousness battle and after I figured out what they were doing and I refused to be dominated, they had no more power over me and they dissolved and vanished.
It woke me up and my heart was pumping ragingly. I can hear my heart pumping because my left ear is blocked and has been for three weeks. It’s annoying but it’s something that seems to have more time to go. Waking from the dream, made something became apparent. I am going through this within my own body. This is what it means when people say “look within”. I felt like this is what I have to transform within myself. This sickness is due to the dark energies. They are fighting within me. Our humanity says we need to kill them, kill bacteria, kill parasites. Kill. Kill. Kill. That’s all we know. We are barbaric. At the lowliest rung of the consciousness ladder.
I realized that I am going through this to release the DNA in my body that is locked up. It’s like growing pains. No pain, no gain. We all know that. I don’t know if my hunch is accurate but I believe we can choose when we die. And I want to live a lot longer. I have much work to do. Now I could be wrong but I’m going through this anyway. I refuse to spend it going in and out of doctor’s offices.
My face is all swollen. It actually makes me look nicer, not so drawn. I look like I’ve had a botox treatment. But every day something new seems to appear. The other night I was feeling my forehead as I have a constant headache. I never had headaches since I was nine years old when I used to get migraines. But they went away for years until about three weeks ago when now I have a perpetual headache. Probably another sign of growing pain. My tooth has caused untold changes in my head. And the other night when I was feeling my forehead I felt bumps on it. And I thought, “surely that’s not the natural feel of the skull”. So I had a look in the mirror the next morning and sure enough, I have three bumps on the left side of my skull and one long bump and a bit reddish on my right temple. I was wondering what the heck this sickness is doing to me. And I am going to observe it. I decided I am going to “go with it”. I believe I have the capability to transform these organisms if I give them direction. They are not “bad” or “evil”, they are simply doing what they have been used to doing for millenia. But now we are in a new era and we are building the beautiful world that we all deserve. But we cannot do it by sitting around doing nothing.
Actually it will happen to everyone. We are expecting things to get “badder” and I think that’s an accurate prediction. Because we have all let it get very bad. We should have stood strong long before this. So now we have to clean up the mess and that is within ourselves first. This is how we regain our power. Our power is very strong, much stronger than the “evil”. The evil only gets a way with it because we have handed our power over to it. We sat by while it bossed us around and tortured us.
But we are going through now a new transformation and it’s not that evil will not exist (hey it is never going to be without problems) it’s that it will exist in much smaller proportions. It will be recognized when it raises itself. There will be no more invaders. That will be a thing of our barbaric past. It is never going to be without problems because if that was the case, then we couldn’t grow. And we are here to grow. Growing is part of nature. We are part of nature. Capiche?
We have lost our connection to nature. We have destroyed our life source that is beautiful beyond words. We have lived by words, in the two-dimensional sphere when we are multi-dimensional beings. I don’t know how many dimensions we are actually and all the nonsensical speculation about 5 dimensions or 7 or 11 dimensions is laughable. Nobody knows. We know nothing! All we can do is lead ourselves through the dark corridor that is this realm we seem to have been plunged into.
We have been lied to about everything. I have to laugh every time I use google maps – the way google now shows the map on a spherical surface. I really could upchuck when I see that because I can see what they are doing – they are reinforcing the belief that the earth is a spherical ball spinning through space, the old NASA baloney.
Tonight the other guy living here and I were talking about how creepy it is living in this world with everyone just sticking their heads in the sand. And even so many activists do that. They pretend they are “working for a better world” when really what they are doing is staying in their comfort zone and learning nothing themselves. They are telling others how to be “awake” and “conscious” but what they don’t realize is they are not telling themselves how they are to move further along themselves. They act as though they have “arrived” and now they are at special “guru status”. I feel they are doing it to simply fit in in a way that is moderately comfortable within this dystopia and some actually live in splendid comfort. All the while thinking of themselves and not the work that needs doing and so we have not progressed.
There are not enough people “awake” yet. We must not dally because the invaders are taking this time to formulate and perfect their dastardly plans. It really is a war on our consciousness. Are people going to keep handing it over to them? The idea that we must not speak about it if we offend others is bunk – we must speak about it and quickly and forthrightly and we must defend and support others who speak about it.
I try to be optimistic but if the people have not arisen yet, then how much more will they take? Courage takes practice. You’ve got to use it in small ways to learn how to do it in big ways. I used to be a wimp always worried about safety but I’m out of that now. I practice courage by speaking out when someone says something inaccurate. I believe that we are duty bound to do that. If we don’t, we end up with a world like this.
I recall my mother in law saying that all she cares about is her family. And I was stunned that she thought like that. Because I thought then, many years ago when things were a lot better, that it makes it safe for no one to think like that. If no one speaks out when someone is wrong, when no one speaks out and backs those who are speaking truth, then it virtually gives the green light to any invader to do anything they want with us. Then they all come out of the woodwork. And that is how it has turned out. A thief can go into a store now and take what they want and nobody will say or do anything.
How much longer will it go that nobody will talk about the deaths that are occurring in the vaccinated? How much longer will it go that nobody talks about chemtrails? People only speak of subjects that the media speaks of. Notice that, it’s a strange phenomenon. Why do people do that? I think it’s because, much like educational indoctrination, they believe if it were real the media would tell them so.
Oh talk about delusional! They are really in for a rude awakening. We need to speak up – that is the antidote to it all. There is nothing more difficult about it. We think it needs a difficult fix but it doesn’t, it just needs us to speak up.
We need to start talking about many things because we have really been dumbed down. Speaking about things puts them into consciousness. What is the purpose of humans on this earth? It saddens me that even activists who care about truth and live within it separate themselves from other activists. I have been shunned by so many and they didn’t even have the courage to explain it to me. I am totally without knowledge of what was so repulsive. One activist whom I admired greatly one day suddenly started telling me that her brother died from driving drunk. She said it as though I had somehow defended drunk driving. I didn’t know where she got her idea from. I asked her what I had said that offended her and she said “you know what you said”. Well you see that is not advanced at all. If you make a claim or an accusation, you really do need to specify what it is. Not only is it not advanced, it is not even fair. I still to this day have absolutely no clue what she was talking about. And only a week or so before she was very friendly to me and came on our dialogues and we appreciated her greatly. Sometimes I wonder if people are not mentally unstable and it comes out in whacky ways. I don’t know what else to think about that.
And I speak to activists in an eagerness to get to know them because it’s blissful to talk to others who know what is really going on in the world – there are so precious few of us. But they speak back in rather off hand ways, almost hostile. Sometimes it seems like they think they are “above it”. But that only demonstrates that they actually don’t “get it”. A true activist would make themselves reachable because their curiosity about others who want to change the world would be their top priority. That’s how we can tell authenticity. But many make themselves as elusive as the president.
And of the activists who are working for a new world, many of them act like we have centuries more. Someone who I truly respect did say something that I took issue with. I wasn’t putting him down, I just mentioned about the aspect he was taking was hampering us. He said we probably won’t see integration for hundreds of years. And that thought puts it further in the future. It is putting your energy to things you don’t want. Because we want integration now don’t we? Why put it into the future and oh so long away? Why suffer this way? The reason is because we are not used to seeing ourselves as the creators that we are. We are too used to being slaves, we are too used to preparing our hearts for the worse scenario. But we don’t have hundreds of years. We need to get with then new program now. And that is because we have delayed and delayed.
I think I know the reason we are going through all this strife. I think it’s because we do it to animals. Yep, we do the most horrific things to animals and never give it much thought. So it turns back on us. We are not doing enough to change things. We are sitting on our hands while animals suffer. We turn a blind eye to it and so we are turned a blind eye on as well. We also let our own species suffer. And we only think of our own comfort and lifestyle. We want to live it up while the world falls to pieces. This is what makes humanity barbaric.
And while I sit here in the dark writing this, with my head throbbing and my ear drumming, I feel fine about what I am going through. I know it is something I have to experience and go beyond. I have to rearrange my beliefs. And a word about that, about the word “belief”. We “believe” in a god, or we “believe” that things will get worse, or we “believe” the government is good. That word “believe” would be more accurately stated if it were “what I’d like to think”. For you’d like to think there is a god, you’d like to think the government is good, you probably don’t like to think things will get worse but you’re not ready to do anything about it so you know that it will get worse and thus that is what you “believe”. You are comfortable in thinking someone will do it for you. But it is time for all hands on deck. Those who don’t get their hands dirty, will not reap the rewards. For we are opening up new channels of consciousness, and growth is never something that comes from comfort. We need to listen to mother nature more. She tells us and gives us the signals.
I can tell you quite unequivocally that it won’t come from the man’s mind. Because what is missing is the feminine mind. Don’t get all bent out of shape from my saying that, it is my truth and the information I am here to bring. And now the feminine mind has almost been totally buried and it’s almost entirely lost. I feel as though I am the only one keeping it alive. Sure there are women who defend the feminine but they don’t speak up. They take the “safe” road, they haven’t got the fortitude to speak it out and upset people. So it remains buried. Women and girls are now thoroughly indoctrinated by patriarchal schooling. Patriarchy is all around us, it’s what we marinate in. There is none of the feminine. When do you see mothers breastfeeding their babies in public? Because I don’t. Not that one or 50 instances makes it applicable. Now think how many instances of sports or cars or violence or titillating breasts you do see. It’s all for men because men call the shots, men coined the language, men coined the law, men coined the way we educate ourselves, men coined the money system. It’s all from men! Nothing from women. And now it needs to be all opened up to a whole new dimension where we transition to open source everything.
We have to get out of this idea that we have to “vet” everyone. As if it has made any difference anyway. We want certainty, security, and pursue it at our own detriment. We have armies and forms and “requirements” up the wazoo and still everything we experience today has problems, problems, problems. It’s also so boring. So neat. So linear.
There are many good things about today – we have amazing technology, the likes of which our ancestors would have drooled over. We can’t just let their hardships go down the tubes. We need to take charge now of our own selves and say “no – I am not doing that, I will not insult my own soul”. The idea of obedience needs to be done away with. It is a most sinister idea. The idea of ownership and of worship. These are all male-only ideas.
Now we need to balance everything if we want to open the gates to the world we know is possible. We need to hear from women, we need to invite women to speak their minds, we need to let women make “mistakes” and not feel silly about it. We need to open up our minds, our hearts and our mouths.
It starts with you. We need to think about others and mostly about what we are doing to this beautiful earth. But it starts with how we treat our own species. We need to stop producing plastics and instead produce hemp and other rapidly-renewable sources, we need to incentivize caring for the earth and caring for others. We need to get out of this idea of punishments. Laws are only there to nab you when you make a mistake. This makes us feel “guilty” when we do something wrong. It’s preposterous. It only makes sense if you don’t think about it. Thank you Jason Christoff for that apt saying. We need to put our thinking caps on and start making this world make sense again.
The children are watching and it’s not making sense to them. They are doing the work and we are not supporting them. We are sentencing them and ourselves to a world of unimaginable misery. I saw a young teenage boy speak up at a school board meeting where he said he and his friends will defend the girl’s right to safe spaces. It is everyone’s right and it is something everyone in that room should have cheered for but as usual, not a peep. The school board couldn’t handle it of course and voted for an adjournment. This is how we make our species wimpy. The other species need us to do what our purpose is. Can you guess what that would be? Do you ever wonder what our purpose is here?
I’ll leave you with that. It’s still dark and when it is light I will take Ajax for a walk and I’ll get myself some needed red light from the sun. I work on the computer too long. That is a change I’ll be making. I will use the evenings for doing other things – talking, reading books, craft work. I love computers but until I can get the yellow glasses I shall not be wrecking my eyes so much anymore. I love facebook but very little comes of it, although I have made wonderful friends there online. None have come into real life though which is strange as I’ve been on it for years. But we live so far from each other. And this is another reason we have to speak up so that others will feel free to speak up too and eventually those who do won’t be so sparsely separated. It will become the new thing and our species will thrive and experience things we could only dream about. We have the courage and we need to exercise courage often because we cannot let the world slide into the hellfire it is about to tumble into if we do not speak it into existence. This is why they censor, this is why they try to distance us, and don’t want us talking.
Get ready for a world that fulfills our soul. It’s waiting.
A ton of good stuff in the presentation. I do consider you on my "team" and I'll go to bat for you the best way I can. Just I few things I see differently - the statement "we have been lied to about everything" - I don't think that is accurate. YES we have been lied to about SOME things, but not everything. That's the "trick" they use, they can't lie about everything because they would totally lose credibility, You have to take each individual subject and just test it out and see if they're lying or telling the truth, and sometimes they tell the truth, but just don't tell you everything. As far as the earth, the earth is absolutely positively a ROUND sphere and one way I can prove it, is with a sunset when the sun's rays illuminate the BOTTOM sides of clouds. That would be absolutely impossible if the earth were flat because a flat earth model finds the sun always ABOVE the clouds. In fact, there are photos online of Mount Rainier 40 miles from Seattle casting a shadow on the BOTTOM sides of clouds. As far as google maps looking wierd, probably that is from the technicians piecing photos together and also there is an actual science to map making because if the earth were flat, map making would be a whole lot easier. When you take flat photos and piece them together, you get distortion because the actual earth is a sphere. Of course there are other things such as those used in aviation - great circle distance is an actual science used for aircraft - mainly coming into play for very long flights. But if you look at a flat earth map, you could not fly nonstop on many routes if the earth were actually laid out like on a flat earth map. {because you'd run out of fuel} Another thing I wanted to comment on is the chemtrail thing - YES there might be a teeny tiny fraction of aircraft spewing out "chemtrails" - those are probably military and drones, certainly NOT airliners which are about 95% of the high altitude traffic and we know that to be true because an airliner aircraft would not be able to load up with extra chemicals due to weight and balance. In fact, an airliner typically at the last minute will get the weights and see if it's within weight limits. If it's under max weight, the airliner MIGHT toss in some freight {usually mail} in the cargo bins to bring in some extra revenues. But in the summer on hot days, they might not be able to carry extra cargo {because if the airplane has an engine out on takeoff, it MUST be able to climb out on the remaining engine with the load that's on board} LET ALONE carry chemtrail chemicals in the chemical tank {that does not exist on airliners - POSSIBLY on some military airplanes and drones} - Now with all that being said, there is ACTUAL chem trailing going on that most people don't really care about - BUT THEY SHOULD, and that is chemicals being sprayed from airplanes 40 feet off the ground call CROP DUSTERS. Now CROP DUSTERS are an actual provable phenonium that takes place practically every single day and destroying the earth's eco system - but the activists are too busy staring UP at 35,000 feet when the should be looking no higher than 40 feet. That to me, is the trick the evil doers are doing - like a magic trick, get you to look up and people fight over "chemtrails", while the evil bastards keep dumping poison on out top soils and eventually gets into the watershed.
I surely hope You geth through soon and feel much better!